Some thoughts on expansions, contractions, and transitions.
I felt this big time as I read it earlier today. I keep thinking to myself, somebody someday should write a book about marriage called "The Way Marriage Really Is," especially about the first year or two. It's so hard! You fight, and there's times when you don't even really like each other that much. I don't know exactly why, but we pick up the message that we should pathologize that, when actually it's a natural part of moving in together and blending two lives. My wife and I fought for sure the first year or two we were married. Expectations are different, you're both adults who've had different rhythms in your life before you met, etc. And you're raising a child, which is one of the hardest, most demanding things you can do in life. I hope it doesn't dismiss what you're going through if I say, it does get better -- my wife and I recently celebrated our 10-year anniversary, and it's so much easier and smoother for us now than it was those first couple of years. It gets better ❤️
Love this so much! I've done the exact same thing but never had it framed like this. You have an uncanny knack for identifying our fears/habits/quirks and explaining why it's actually growth or good to do the thing we secretly thought was weird or shameful.
I love the concept of expanding and contracting. Caregiving to my parents for 7 years was the epitome of extreme emotions--peaks and valleys, highs and lows, whatever--magnifies even more in their recent passings. The end of your post is perfect. Life is filled with cycles of breath, of inhaling and exhaling the good and the bad moments.
The in-between periods are hard! I’m currently in my own fallow period and this language from Byron Brown really resonates. I wasn’t familiar with it and I appreciate your sharing!
I particularly admire your bravery to keep pushing forward. It's an amazing quality. I believe we can all find a way, but you have such momentum and tenacity. And that doesn't mean everything is always perfect, but when you're brave and you resolve to get back-on-track, it doesn't need to be.
I feel so much of this. The last two years have been hell for my family, but we feel like we're coming out of it. My word for 2023 is "forward" and I really feel it; I finally feel joy again. Life is an ebb and flow and I'm going to rejoice that right now, things are looking up.
I adore this so much !! Exactly what I needed this week ❤️🩹
This is an amazing post. Thanks for sharing. 💟
Expansions and contractions - this really helps me understand some of the feelings I've had recently about experiences in my own life. Thank you for sharing!
I'm sorry that things got so bad for you Katie. Life can be such a struggle at times. I am happy that you are feeling better now and I hope that 2023 is a better year for you.
Oh Katie, now I really get it. Yes, I understand this feeling and this phase. Thank you for sharing it here.
Love the permission this gives to be okay with expanding and contracting and learning that that’s all apart of the journey. I’m happy to hear you’re beginning to feel more balance and joy in your life and are on the side of expansion!
Facebook groups (when you find precious, amazing ones) are everything, I swear. I turned to a caregiving one a lot the last 3 months of my mom’s life.