Nov 15, 2022·edited Nov 15, 2022Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar
Building a roaring campfire without matches and modern fuel is a painful lesson in patience. The right kindling, exact placement of the wood to invite oxygen, the careful nursing of a single spark ... all these little things that must go right for the flame to catch and the logs to burn. And then there is the maintenance and vigilance so the fire doesn’t go out, endangering the campers.
But extinguishing this roaring fire is easy; just drop a clump of dirt on the flame. Done. Out. No patience is needed, no planning, no concern about how to find more wood, no empathy for others who need the fire for food and warmth. Just, destruction.
Hope is the former. Hope is also what it looks like to start rebuilding a fire when someone comes along and just dumps their load of dirt on your hard work.
I’m not sure how many fires in a life each of us has within us, but as I get older and stare into the tunnel of old age in this country, I’m increasingly convinced it is one less than we each need. I want to scream at the young that hope is a trap, that there is nothing for people who hope except a Sisyphusian existence of building fires.
Yet, I resist the urge to tell them buy a shovel instead. I’m beginning to feel that is a character flaw.
I lost a friend this week to depression. Thank you for this post. I was feeling such sadness and despair from her passing, on top of the general state of the world. It has helped me to feel less helpless and bleak. Find the glimmers. Another writer wrote that “Love is the running towards...” and i try to hold that in mind during times like these.
This is a good reminder. After so many let downs over the years, I tend to shy away from hope. It can feel dangerous to let myself feel hope only to have that hope dashed once again. I like the idea of practicing hope, starting small and being gentle with myself. Maybe there can be a version of hope that allows for the possibility of things going our way while also not going all in on that outcome, such that we have to scrape ourselves off the floor if it doesn’t go that way.
Love this 💖. Your newsletters always provide a glimmer of hope and help us understand ourselves better. And I think about you when I take beautiful nature pictures out on a walk. I’ve been compelled to do it just for me and your take on it helped me embrace the joy of it. When I take close-ups of raindrops on begonias or morning sunlight on a coffee shop patio, it always boosts my mood.
Good Post Katie. Maybe I tend to avoid much of the world's controversies but I guess that is my way of keeping in a positive frame of mind. The world is so full of misfortune and struggles that it can take a toll on anyone mentally and physically. Having hope is a must when it comes to surviving. Without hope, many of us may not see a future at all. People like you who write to inspire gives us hope. Even when some things in life seem hard, your inspiration shines through. The more that people inspire, the more joy will be produced, in turn creating hope.
True, we can't teach hope. But we can keep showing people how we look for hope even things look bleak. At least, that is what I keep telling myself because my default is hope, even though I there is a lot that worries me these days.
The results of the election gave me a glimmer of hope to, or at least it reduced my dread about where the country is headed. I’ve been thinking about an interesting thing. I used to (for years)wake up every morning full of hope that I would conquer “it” that day, whatever “it” was, and go to bed every night feeling a little defeated. I don’t know when exactly it shifted (2020? 2021?). Now I often wake up with a sense of dread, but I often end the day feeling like OK that was OK. Which is something I’m curious about. I wonder if sometimes hope isn’t really hope, it’s denial, and there’s a difference between that and a hope based in acceptance of reality .
Building a roaring campfire without matches and modern fuel is a painful lesson in patience. The right kindling, exact placement of the wood to invite oxygen, the careful nursing of a single spark ... all these little things that must go right for the flame to catch and the logs to burn. And then there is the maintenance and vigilance so the fire doesn’t go out, endangering the campers.
But extinguishing this roaring fire is easy; just drop a clump of dirt on the flame. Done. Out. No patience is needed, no planning, no concern about how to find more wood, no empathy for others who need the fire for food and warmth. Just, destruction.
Hope is the former. Hope is also what it looks like to start rebuilding a fire when someone comes along and just dumps their load of dirt on your hard work.
I’m not sure how many fires in a life each of us has within us, but as I get older and stare into the tunnel of old age in this country, I’m increasingly convinced it is one less than we each need. I want to scream at the young that hope is a trap, that there is nothing for people who hope except a Sisyphusian existence of building fires.
Yet, I resist the urge to tell them buy a shovel instead. I’m beginning to feel that is a character flaw.
I lost a friend this week to depression. Thank you for this post. I was feeling such sadness and despair from her passing, on top of the general state of the world. It has helped me to feel less helpless and bleak. Find the glimmers. Another writer wrote that “Love is the running towards...” and i try to hold that in mind during times like these.
This is a good reminder. After so many let downs over the years, I tend to shy away from hope. It can feel dangerous to let myself feel hope only to have that hope dashed once again. I like the idea of practicing hope, starting small and being gentle with myself. Maybe there can be a version of hope that allows for the possibility of things going our way while also not going all in on that outcome, such that we have to scrape ourselves off the floor if it doesn’t go that way.
Wonderful post, Katie.
Love this 💖. Your newsletters always provide a glimmer of hope and help us understand ourselves better. And I think about you when I take beautiful nature pictures out on a walk. I’ve been compelled to do it just for me and your take on it helped me embrace the joy of it. When I take close-ups of raindrops on begonias or morning sunlight on a coffee shop patio, it always boosts my mood.
A beautiful essay. Thank you for writing it!
Love this post. Thanks for sharing. 💟
Good Post Katie. Maybe I tend to avoid much of the world's controversies but I guess that is my way of keeping in a positive frame of mind. The world is so full of misfortune and struggles that it can take a toll on anyone mentally and physically. Having hope is a must when it comes to surviving. Without hope, many of us may not see a future at all. People like you who write to inspire gives us hope. Even when some things in life seem hard, your inspiration shines through. The more that people inspire, the more joy will be produced, in turn creating hope.
Her shouting, "I'm happy!" is the cutest thing ever! Oh my gosh THAT gave me such joy 🥰
True, we can't teach hope. But we can keep showing people how we look for hope even things look bleak. At least, that is what I keep telling myself because my default is hope, even though I there is a lot that worries me these days.
Your honesty, transparent and real, gives me a glimmer to cling to. Along with unexpected midterm results in AZ and elsewhere. Thank you.
I really needed to read this. It’s been a tough couple of weeks. Thank you.
The results of the election gave me a glimmer of hope to, or at least it reduced my dread about where the country is headed. I’ve been thinking about an interesting thing. I used to (for years)wake up every morning full of hope that I would conquer “it” that day, whatever “it” was, and go to bed every night feeling a little defeated. I don’t know when exactly it shifted (2020? 2021?). Now I often wake up with a sense of dread, but I often end the day feeling like OK that was OK. Which is something I’m curious about. I wonder if sometimes hope isn’t really hope, it’s denial, and there’s a difference between that and a hope based in acceptance of reality .
Gorgeous, thank you so much for this.