Documenting the joys helps. I used to love a To Do list. Now I love a "Ta Da" list. While I am working to not celebrate "productivity" (to relish myself as a human being, not a human doing), I naturally like checking things off and it's nice to make a list at the end of the day of all the little things. Sometimes it's a list of things that I got done. But often it's more about the things I saw, felt, shared, experienced.
This is exactly what I needed to read today! These lines:
"Yes, there are steps you can take to earn more money, carve out more time, gain more energy, or become more confident, but it’s not going to happen overnight. And, let’s be honest: you may never reach the levels of those things that you’ve dreamed of. Even if you do, there will always be another level, just out of reach.
I’m not saying this to be discouraging nor to give you an excuse or permission not to try. I’m saying it so you can stop beating yourself up, on top of everything else. "
Thank you. Yes, needed to see this on a very struggly morning. perhaps we mostly have problems with physics, where we're trying to fit oh so many infinite things into a definitely finite box. The overflow creates frustration as we watch our dreamed up goals dissipate.
I love thinking about life in periods, and particularly if there are young kids in the mix. Things change so quickly with kids--harder then easier then harder--and I am so prone in the hard moments to be like, "THIS IS IT, THIS IS HOW IT WILL ALWAYS BE, I WILL NEVER HAVE TIME TO WRITE AGAIN." This is my issue with the standard "work-life" balance effort as well. It usually focuses on balancing everything within one day or one week, versus over many years, which is way more realistic and humane. Thanks for writing this!
You wrote this at such a perfect time for me; I've been thinking a lot lately about how certain periods in our lives just will be harder no matter what we do and accepting that really helps to get through it rather than makes things harder by attributing the difficulty to some flaw within ourselves. Thanks for another thoughtful newsletter!
This made me remember something I did when I was struggling with caring for a toddler and infant at the same time. I documented the hard parts, my exhaustion, sadness, rage, etc. I allowed myself to feel those feelings in private selfies because they were “inappropriate” or awkward to show to anyone else. It helped. So, not only consider documenting the joy, but maybe the struggle too.
Oh boy did I need this today. I'm working on learning online tools, Canva, Kittl, and ChatGPT to create printables. I'm taking a printables course where my expectations and reality are (both) parked parallel to success. I don't see an intersection. And it's been going on since December. Your post helped me out of my funk and allowed me to stop sniveling and take a hike in nature.
This was great! I separated from my dysfunctional partner and thought that was the hard thing. I mean...it was, but also, so is parenting and working and real life right now. I've been surprised at how hard the hard is without the super dumb hard. I LOVE hearing about other peoples problems and suffering, it helps me feel connected to others and like I'm a part of humanity, not isolated on a shame island by myself.
I kind of feel like starting my memoir on Substack has become one big advice column to myself, although that's not what it was intended to be! Thank you for the link to your I Saw the Sign post. When I cannot listen to advice from my inner columnist, be open to those signs usually gets me through. Plus they are just so damn much fun!
You are so right Katie, life is hard and we aren't alone in it. So many times we feel alone with the struggle but we really aren't. Sometimes though we need to remind ourselves that we are human and not perfect. Some of what we expect in life when we want it doesn't always come to pass. That's why I don't make strict plans. When expectations are set lower, the disappointment if there is some won't be as bad. Thank you though for the reminder that I'm not alone.
Why don't my expectations line up with my reality?
Documenting the joys helps. I used to love a To Do list. Now I love a "Ta Da" list. While I am working to not celebrate "productivity" (to relish myself as a human being, not a human doing), I naturally like checking things off and it's nice to make a list at the end of the day of all the little things. Sometimes it's a list of things that I got done. But often it's more about the things I saw, felt, shared, experienced.
This is exactly what I needed to read today! These lines:
"Yes, there are steps you can take to earn more money, carve out more time, gain more energy, or become more confident, but it’s not going to happen overnight. And, let’s be honest: you may never reach the levels of those things that you’ve dreamed of. Even if you do, there will always be another level, just out of reach.
I’m not saying this to be discouraging nor to give you an excuse or permission not to try. I’m saying it so you can stop beating yourself up, on top of everything else. "
Thank you <3
Thank you. Yes, needed to see this on a very struggly morning. perhaps we mostly have problems with physics, where we're trying to fit oh so many infinite things into a definitely finite box. The overflow creates frustration as we watch our dreamed up goals dissipate.
I love thinking about life in periods, and particularly if there are young kids in the mix. Things change so quickly with kids--harder then easier then harder--and I am so prone in the hard moments to be like, "THIS IS IT, THIS IS HOW IT WILL ALWAYS BE, I WILL NEVER HAVE TIME TO WRITE AGAIN." This is my issue with the standard "work-life" balance effort as well. It usually focuses on balancing everything within one day or one week, versus over many years, which is way more realistic and humane. Thanks for writing this!
You wrote this at such a perfect time for me; I've been thinking a lot lately about how certain periods in our lives just will be harder no matter what we do and accepting that really helps to get through it rather than makes things harder by attributing the difficulty to some flaw within ourselves. Thanks for another thoughtful newsletter!
KHG. Thank you for this one and for the prompt.
This made me remember something I did when I was struggling with caring for a toddler and infant at the same time. I documented the hard parts, my exhaustion, sadness, rage, etc. I allowed myself to feel those feelings in private selfies because they were “inappropriate” or awkward to show to anyone else. It helped. So, not only consider documenting the joy, but maybe the struggle too.
Oh boy did I need this today. I'm working on learning online tools, Canva, Kittl, and ChatGPT to create printables. I'm taking a printables course where my expectations and reality are (both) parked parallel to success. I don't see an intersection. And it's been going on since December. Your post helped me out of my funk and allowed me to stop sniveling and take a hike in nature.
Tomorrow is another day.
just beautiful. thank you.
Thank you, Katie. This is the most perfect advice I never knew I needed. I’m thinking about starting my day with it every morning as an affirmation.
*adds Tiny Beautiful Things to my TBR*
This was great! I separated from my dysfunctional partner and thought that was the hard thing. I mean...it was, but also, so is parenting and working and real life right now. I've been surprised at how hard the hard is without the super dumb hard. I LOVE hearing about other peoples problems and suffering, it helps me feel connected to others and like I'm a part of humanity, not isolated on a shame island by myself.
Oh I needed this today. Like, really, REALLY needed this. Thank you for saying all the affirming words so eloquently.
I kind of feel like starting my memoir on Substack has become one big advice column to myself, although that's not what it was intended to be! Thank you for the link to your I Saw the Sign post. When I cannot listen to advice from my inner columnist, be open to those signs usually gets me through. Plus they are just so damn much fun!
Great piece. I like the different life periods. As a class teacher I love September and the refresh stage. Thanks for a great read.
You are so right Katie, life is hard and we aren't alone in it. So many times we feel alone with the struggle but we really aren't. Sometimes though we need to remind ourselves that we are human and not perfect. Some of what we expect in life when we want it doesn't always come to pass. That's why I don't make strict plans. When expectations are set lower, the disappointment if there is some won't be as bad. Thank you though for the reminder that I'm not alone.