10 Comments

I hear you! I still feel all of this in my own way. I live alone and even as an introvert I am feeling the weight of how alone I feel. I don't have people close to me that are where I am re: comfort levels, rather all are taking more chances. My mom passed last January and I have been trying to help my dad navigate that loss through all of this. This is the challenge of our lifetimes right now. I have been really leaning in to Tara Brach's weekly talks and her idea of "say yes to the life that's here" without trying to make it be other than it is. Nothing about it is easy!

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Thank you for this! I was just talking to my mom about the "say yes" idea today. You are facing so much right now—grieving *and* supporting someone who is grieving is a lot—and I'm sending you a lot of love.

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Nov 30, 2021Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

I feel this all so much and am here to commiserate. I'm constantly wondering if we're being too cautious or not cautious enough. And I have no idea how we're going to handle the holidays. Many of our friends and extended family just kept living life as usual when the pandemic hit, and while some of them have gotten vaccinated, many have not. It's been really hard not seeing all our nieces and nephew throughout all of this and basically missing two years of their lives. I hate it and just want it all to be over.

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It's really hard. I'm sorry you've had to navigate so many complicated situations. I want it all to be over too!

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"While both Billy and I feel good about our choices, we are also suffering the consequences of remaining extra cautious." This resonated with me 10000%. After living abroad for four years, COVID forced me back to the U.S. in March 2021. My final year abroad was spent alone in lockdown in a 200 square foot studio apartment, so you can imagine how that went!

Since moving back, I've lived with family. We're all vaccinated (and now boosted), but their underlying conditions lead me to be just as careful/isolated as I was in that small apartment. So I'm both doing the right thing for me, and also suffering the consequences for it, especially in the friend department. I appreciate you naming this, and I'm also grateful that we're all still here, too.

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I’m glad it resonated! And I’m sorry you’re feeling isolated too. Thanks for sharing your story!

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I totally relate to this, feeling just very isolated and alone. Love to you.

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Sending love right back your way!

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Nov 30, 2021Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

We're in the same boat, but with two children too young to be vaccinated. Almost every day I Google "when can kids under 5 be vaccinated." I don't feel like we can start to think about living somewhat normally until both of them have the shot, and even then ?? Who knows what curveballs await. I am fatigued and dreading this season of cold and, therefore, extreme homebound-ness. We'll still attempt to drag the preschooler to a playground on weekend days when he's home regardless of how cold it is, but whether he wants to stay and get his energy out is another story. And who knows how many close-contact quarantines we'll need to experience this holiday season because of cases at daycare, which is a non-negotiable exposure for us. It's been a lot. And it's hard to watch friends without kids have so much more normalcy than we do.

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It really is hard! It’s lonely and frustrating. Sending you lots of strength as you get through the cold months ahead. ❤️

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