perfectly said...today is my birthday and the first one I observe without my husband who died 10+ months ago. I AM different after the storm of his illness thats for sure. We loved each other the whole way and I know he is close by in spirit watching over me. Our love remains and I carry it in my heart every day THANK YOU for reminding me I am really OK and more resilient than I realize
I loved your powerful intro to this piece, Katie. I wasn't aware the anniversary effect was a recognised thing, although I've certainly felt it. I hope you're doing OK.
Exactly! Things are still weird. Anniversary reactions are very real. Thank you for putting this out there to read. It makes me feel less "alone" in my still often times solitary life. And because I am immune compromised I still have to mask, which when I go to the grocery seems like a blessings quite frankly especially now during the height of tourist season, but in other settings makes me feel pretty geeky. Yet, in confined spaces it's a must. I try not to overthink it but it does trouble me. The longer this goes on I find the more irritated I get. Okay, shutting up now. Thanks for posting this.
Friday, March 13th. I remember having my staff gathered in the conference room. Everyone staring in disbelief as I made the announcement to pack up whatever they might need to work from home for awhile. It felt surreal.
Oof. This 4 year anniversary for me is so tricky. Because what's coming up for the vast majority of people is the grief of what happened in the past -- the trauma of that first year until vaccinations, the Delta summer of 2021, that 2021-2022 omicron winter.
But for me (and the vast minority like me) who continue to take many covid precautions (and feel betrayed, especially by our leftist communities who gladly stopped doing so themselves), the grief is ongoing. Because the loss continues. The losses keep happening.
It's the past, it's the present, it's the future. For those of us who are deeply tuned into the disabled community (including those with long covid) and are centering their voices and taking our lead from them, *nothing* is the same until a variety of things happen that political and capitalist interests have zero interest or motivation to actually do. And there's no collective pressure from the people on the left, because they've moved on too. It feels so enraging. And there's little space to go with that grief.
perfectly said...today is my birthday and the first one I observe without my husband who died 10+ months ago. I AM different after the storm of his illness thats for sure. We loved each other the whole way and I know he is close by in spirit watching over me. Our love remains and I carry it in my heart every day THANK YOU for reminding me I am really OK and more resilient than I realize
I loved your powerful intro to this piece, Katie. I wasn't aware the anniversary effect was a recognised thing, although I've certainly felt it. I hope you're doing OK.
Exactly! Things are still weird. Anniversary reactions are very real. Thank you for putting this out there to read. It makes me feel less "alone" in my still often times solitary life. And because I am immune compromised I still have to mask, which when I go to the grocery seems like a blessings quite frankly especially now during the height of tourist season, but in other settings makes me feel pretty geeky. Yet, in confined spaces it's a must. I try not to overthink it but it does trouble me. The longer this goes on I find the more irritated I get. Okay, shutting up now. Thanks for posting this.
Friday, March 13th. I remember having my staff gathered in the conference room. Everyone staring in disbelief as I made the announcement to pack up whatever they might need to work from home for awhile. It felt surreal.
Oof. This 4 year anniversary for me is so tricky. Because what's coming up for the vast majority of people is the grief of what happened in the past -- the trauma of that first year until vaccinations, the Delta summer of 2021, that 2021-2022 omicron winter.
But for me (and the vast minority like me) who continue to take many covid precautions (and feel betrayed, especially by our leftist communities who gladly stopped doing so themselves), the grief is ongoing. Because the loss continues. The losses keep happening.
It's the past, it's the present, it's the future. For those of us who are deeply tuned into the disabled community (including those with long covid) and are centering their voices and taking our lead from them, *nothing* is the same until a variety of things happen that political and capitalist interests have zero interest or motivation to actually do. And there's no collective pressure from the people on the left, because they've moved on too. It feels so enraging. And there's little space to go with that grief.