This is excellent advice. I can’t believe it took me 40 years to figure it out but here we are. You managed to articulate it in a much better way than I ever could. Really enjoying your work.
Great piece! know that when I am overwhelmed with big emotions, unexpected changes, external events that I cannot control - it is very difficult to know what to do! Often times I feel compelled to just keep moving!! Maybe I can out run the situation. In the recovery world the common wisdom to newly recovering addicts and alcoholics is 'don't make any big decisions in the first year.' That advice is frequently ignored. I ignored it! Sometimes the best support has been " there, there, now! this is really tough! I am here for you." Thanks for your writing.
Your piece captures the balance between offering guidance and respecting individual experiences. I enjoyed how you weave personal anecdotes with broader life lessons, making your advice feel more meaningful.
I’m trying to get myself to wait 6 months. If I started a project, I have to work on that project (or hobby or whatever) for six months before I’m allowed to put it down. I hope that will help me truly decide if this is something for me or if I’ve “lived and learned” a lot of times I stop early bc of fear of failure and don’t give myself enough time to try
A powerful piece made real by your openess with your story.
I've thought long and hard about decisions, how to make them and when. Also, what can hijack the process. Grief certainly does that!
As you so cogently say, grief and the shock of it throws us off balance, hijacks our hearts and minds. This time, above all, is about being kind to ourselves. Why should we expect to function as we once did? Time and compassion heal.
It took me tens years to process the loss of my Dad. When it came it was cataclysmic, primal. Why? Because I didn't give it the time and attention my grief deserved.
“As tempting as it might be to deploy the nuclear option — to quit, move, divorce, or burn it to the ground — we can instead focus our sights on the immediate things we can control. Amid deep breaths and small steps, we can find the clarity we’re looking for.” —-I needed this today, so thank you! Very much in the middle of wanting to burn it down and be done with it but this is such a helpful and graceful reminder to be patient.
Best advice ever. I find that handy in everyday life too, when in certain situations my auto response is the default knee jerk reaction. Even if I have to poke myself on the forehead to stop myself from writing that email, opening my mouth or responding to that text etc. I hit that blessed pause button. What a great gift that thing is.
It’s been three years for me. I finally feel ready to make some forward facing decisions. The way I can tell I’m ready? I’m not afraid of making the right own wrong decision. In the three previous years I’d be gripped by anxiety, so I have been healing and waiting—listening for my intuition to come back to me. It feels good to feel ready to make some life changes again.
Yes. This is excellent advice!
❤️❤️❤️
This is excellent advice. I can’t believe it took me 40 years to figure it out but here we are. You managed to articulate it in a much better way than I ever could. Really enjoying your work.
That’s so kind! Thanks, Jason!
Great piece! know that when I am overwhelmed with big emotions, unexpected changes, external events that I cannot control - it is very difficult to know what to do! Often times I feel compelled to just keep moving!! Maybe I can out run the situation. In the recovery world the common wisdom to newly recovering addicts and alcoholics is 'don't make any big decisions in the first year.' That advice is frequently ignored. I ignored it! Sometimes the best support has been " there, there, now! this is really tough! I am here for you." Thanks for your writing.
Thank you, Karin! I appreciate it!
Your piece captures the balance between offering guidance and respecting individual experiences. I enjoyed how you weave personal anecdotes with broader life lessons, making your advice feel more meaningful.
Thanks, Jon!
I’m trying to get myself to wait 6 months. If I started a project, I have to work on that project (or hobby or whatever) for six months before I’m allowed to put it down. I hope that will help me truly decide if this is something for me or if I’ve “lived and learned” a lot of times I stop early bc of fear of failure and don’t give myself enough time to try
Hi Katie,
A powerful piece made real by your openess with your story.
I've thought long and hard about decisions, how to make them and when. Also, what can hijack the process. Grief certainly does that!
As you so cogently say, grief and the shock of it throws us off balance, hijacks our hearts and minds. This time, above all, is about being kind to ourselves. Why should we expect to function as we once did? Time and compassion heal.
It took me tens years to process the loss of my Dad. When it came it was cataclysmic, primal. Why? Because I didn't give it the time and attention my grief deserved.
Thank you
Gary
“As tempting as it might be to deploy the nuclear option — to quit, move, divorce, or burn it to the ground — we can instead focus our sights on the immediate things we can control. Amid deep breaths and small steps, we can find the clarity we’re looking for.” —-I needed this today, so thank you! Very much in the middle of wanting to burn it down and be done with it but this is such a helpful and graceful reminder to be patient.
Best advice ever. I find that handy in everyday life too, when in certain situations my auto response is the default knee jerk reaction. Even if I have to poke myself on the forehead to stop myself from writing that email, opening my mouth or responding to that text etc. I hit that blessed pause button. What a great gift that thing is.
It’s been three years for me. I finally feel ready to make some forward facing decisions. The way I can tell I’m ready? I’m not afraid of making the right own wrong decision. In the three previous years I’d be gripped by anxiety, so I have been healing and waiting—listening for my intuition to come back to me. It feels good to feel ready to make some life changes again.
Great post Katie. Such wise words.