Another fantastic and timely lesson. We just returned from 10 days away with our toddler (which was harder than I even anticipated, even though she is awesome). We deliberately returned on Sunday instead of Memorial Day, to avoid the worst travel crush and to give ourselves a day to transition. But I realized today that I need a *second* transition day, once toddler is back at school. I'm doing laundry, making meals, running down my list of annoying errands. As a self-employed consultant, I was anxious to get back to work -- but this day (well, school day) of transition feels like a gift.
10 days! What a milestone! And, I imagine, a big transition back to reality. Also, I'll never get over all the parallels in our lives, friend. So grateful to be on this widowhood/parenthood/self-employed(hood?) path with you. xo
Loved this! I’m at a time of life where I’m traveling for work for a couple of nights away every week, and I found this parenting advice from a writer on Cup of Jo to be really helpful - she basically said that when you’ve been away from your kids, on the first night back, prioritize connection over discipline. Temporarily relax on the rules - e.g. the next day I’ll make my toddler eat at the table but tonight we can have a snack on the floor. It also helps with my spouse, too - normally we do the dishes right after dinner but maybe the first night back we watch a movie instead.
I used to travel a lot when the kids were young. I’d be gone for 3-5 days, depending on the season… when I would come back home, all I wanted to do was chill and be with everyone without having to do anything. I was doing training and facilitation the time, so I was always “on,” always in facilitative mode. There was the network breakfast prior to the workshops, then dinner afterwards… nights in a hotel room meant catching up with calls (this was prior to email!) and preparing for the next day.
The thing that my family wanted to do when picking me up at the airport was going out to eat! Daddy’s home and we need to celebrate… I never told them that was the last thing I wanted to be doing after doing that for the past week … to them, my life in Dallas, DC, NYC, LA, SF, Salt Lake City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Detroit… was EXCITING while theirs was boring… they needed some excitement and going out to eat, that overlapped… anyway…
Those days are long, long gone. I hope I did that period of my life ok… anyway.
My favorite travel movie is “Up in the Air” with George Clooney, Anna Kendrick, mostly because I love airports. I fantasized about having nothing in a home apartment that was just a mailing address, that the real life was on the road and I would never really have to face returning home. It was painful not because I didn’t love my family, but because it was so hard to keep leaving and the pain of returning. Home never quite felt permanent back then. Now, it feels too permanent with no travel in the near future…
Maybe some of this makes me sound like a jerk… but returning home, for those who have never done it, maybe it does. But it’s a very real thing for those of us who have.
Another fantastic and timely lesson. We just returned from 10 days away with our toddler (which was harder than I even anticipated, even though she is awesome). We deliberately returned on Sunday instead of Memorial Day, to avoid the worst travel crush and to give ourselves a day to transition. But I realized today that I need a *second* transition day, once toddler is back at school. I'm doing laundry, making meals, running down my list of annoying errands. As a self-employed consultant, I was anxious to get back to work -- but this day (well, school day) of transition feels like a gift.
10 days! What a milestone! And, I imagine, a big transition back to reality. Also, I'll never get over all the parallels in our lives, friend. So grateful to be on this widowhood/parenthood/self-employed(hood?) path with you. xo
Lovely, Katie. I often think of the return home as “re-entry.” As if we’re astronauts.
Such a good way to look at it!
Whew boy, badly needed this one today. Thank you.
You too? 😅
❤️
Loved this! I’m at a time of life where I’m traveling for work for a couple of nights away every week, and I found this parenting advice from a writer on Cup of Jo to be really helpful - she basically said that when you’ve been away from your kids, on the first night back, prioritize connection over discipline. Temporarily relax on the rules - e.g. the next day I’ll make my toddler eat at the table but tonight we can have a snack on the floor. It also helps with my spouse, too - normally we do the dishes right after dinner but maybe the first night back we watch a movie instead.
Ooh, this is such good advice. Thank you! And best of luck with all your travels!
Great post, Katie!
Thanks, Jeffrey!
Wow! Your return home flight sounds a lot like life right now. :/
I hope the ride goes more smoothly for you soon, Lori.
Thank you Katie! Me too! It usually does...
I used to travel a lot when the kids were young. I’d be gone for 3-5 days, depending on the season… when I would come back home, all I wanted to do was chill and be with everyone without having to do anything. I was doing training and facilitation the time, so I was always “on,” always in facilitative mode. There was the network breakfast prior to the workshops, then dinner afterwards… nights in a hotel room meant catching up with calls (this was prior to email!) and preparing for the next day.
The thing that my family wanted to do when picking me up at the airport was going out to eat! Daddy’s home and we need to celebrate… I never told them that was the last thing I wanted to be doing after doing that for the past week … to them, my life in Dallas, DC, NYC, LA, SF, Salt Lake City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Detroit… was EXCITING while theirs was boring… they needed some excitement and going out to eat, that overlapped… anyway…
Those days are long, long gone. I hope I did that period of my life ok… anyway.
My favorite travel movie is “Up in the Air” with George Clooney, Anna Kendrick, mostly because I love airports. I fantasized about having nothing in a home apartment that was just a mailing address, that the real life was on the road and I would never really have to face returning home. It was painful not because I didn’t love my family, but because it was so hard to keep leaving and the pain of returning. Home never quite felt permanent back then. Now, it feels too permanent with no travel in the near future…
Maybe some of this makes me sound like a jerk… but returning home, for those who have never done it, maybe it does. But it’s a very real thing for those of us who have.
I totally get it! It doesn't make you sound like a jerk. It makes you sound human. I get why it's painful. Hope you're doing well, Gerard.