When we live alongside grief, we have to check in from time to time.
This is such a great perspective. I lost my dad suddenly in 2017, and it seems so strange to me how this many years have passed. I always feel awkward and anxious around the anniversaries (birth, death) because it is so tempting to relive that immediate time but it also feels like picking at a wound just because... I'm supposed to? I never quite know what to do with myself and focusing on remembrance of the person vs the end and the awful fallout from it is better for me and for his memory <3
I lost my mom a little over 3 years ago now (Jan 2020)- and I totally relate and tbh would have been upset by the therapist's comment as well. Seems harsh in the face of what you're going through no matter what the case and scenario happens go be. Besides that though, waking up myself and feeling sad about my own grief I live with each day (3 years isn't long as you said even if it seems long in other situations)- I'm glad I got this from you both. Rebecca, I totally get it and feel so much for you. Losing anyone, let alone a parent is the hardest thing I have ever and probably will ever go through. My heart reaches out to you and sends you hugs. And Katie, thanks for letting us get to read Rebecca's incredibly honest and open writing. Sometimes we really don't know what we need when we wake up sad and feeling alone and there it is-- right in our emails waiting to be read next on Tuesday morning. Thank you both. ❤️
Thanks for this, Rebecca.
As a writer, I really appreciate the exploration of your resistance to write that thought-out essay, and how far exploring and mentioning that resistance took you. I hope your day today is full of amazing memories.
Also, I am biased, but this came out today and I thought you may appreciate it:
I love this how it connects, and, how we all connect in one way or another like ripples as they span out. Really thoughtful.
I seem to be older than some of the writers, and I'm not much of a writer.
I lost my spouse to an unexpected lethal cancer 2 years ago.
Although at my age (early 70s) it seems I would have had plenty of experience with loss and grief and/or process. But this shock has been so devastating I seek any little bits of wisdom or comfort as if they were flotsam around the Titanic and I'm still in the cold water waiting for what . . . grab on to something, anything and keep moving to stay warm, keep your head above water, go along.