Jun 1, 2021Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar, Rebecca Coates
With my wife getting sick, I don't really know where exactly the crossroad was. The decline in her health was such long drawn out process that it took years to feel like we were on the other side of something. Through that process we've had to grieve so many losses as well as learn how to live within these new constraints on our life, and that choice is something I have to face over and over. Our life has become much smaller, but that does not mean it is without joy. Recently we got a dog, which was something we'd talked about in the years before Sarah got sick, but it was always something we planned to do after we traveled and had kids. Bringing Mosey into our home was partly an acknowledgement that those dreams were no longer part of our future and choosing to build joy where we are right now. It was also a decision that took a lot of courage given Sarah's health. There are still moments of doubt as to whether getting a dog a good idea, but overall, its made brought so much happiness into this new life we've carving out for ourselves.
I absolutely think that making the decision to get a dog is indicative of a shift in a direction from the crossroads. When health is ever-changing, and those changes impact your day-to-day lifestyle, I imagine it's hard to feel like you've "gotten past" such a dynamic shift... Because things are still shifting, and continue to do so. It definitely seems like making that commitment to bringing a dog into your lives shows that you both have a level of comfort now with those changes being your new norm. And that's huge!
Curious, because I love dogs, what kind of dog you guys got 👀👀👀
Jun 1, 2021Liked by Rebecca Coates, Katie Hawkins-Gaar
As always, your words resonate with me! I've been at so many crossroads in my life but reading this, the biggie would be my mom's death. I was by her bedside in the hospital and despite what they show in movies and on TV, it was not peaceful. It was an awful scene, with me begging her not to go...even now I can't write those words without tearing up. I felt like my insides had been torn out. I was 21. And I shut down. It took miles of baby steps to open up again and allow someone into my heart. I'm now married to that someone. I couldn't be more grateful. Yes, I could lose him and my heart would be broken into a million pieces. But I wouldn't trade all the little (and big) moments I get to experience that I wouldn't otherwise. So my biggest crossroads was making the decision to open my heart again. The alternative would've been pretty bleak. As an amateur photographer, I know pictures can tell a thousand tales and I tell my husband that he brought color into my black&white world. xo
The biggest crossroads of my life was moving to Kansas City, Missouri, 4 years ago. I had just turned 30, and had lived in the same general area near all of my family and friends for my entire life. My boyfriend got a job here, and although I assumed it would just be farmland and people with Fargo accents (neither of those things are true) I took the plunge. We sold our house, got rid of all of our furniture, and drove the 12 hours to Kansas City with 3 cats meowing in the back. We didn't know a soul. The first year was especially difficult because I couldn't find a job no matter how hard I tried. It was the first time I hadn't worked since I was 14 years old. It was a demeaning whirlwind of constantly filling out applications from everything to library managers to Bed, Bath, and Beyond staff, and hearing I am either underqualified to overqualified. My first interview the entire room laughed at me because I referred to one of the interviewees as "ma'am" which apparently isn't taken too very well in the Midwest. I forced myself to join a Meetup group called Nerdy 30 Ladies just so I would know someone else besides my husband. That December it snowed in my hometown in Georgia, and while my friends were all elated about work being cancelled, I was sitting in an apartment many states away missing out on this shard experience and feeling homesick for the first time. The next few years came with many changes, both good and bad. I got a job as a college librarian, and we bought a downtown condo and love exploring our new city. I've made many friends from my meetup group, and my pre-pandemic social life was the most robust it had ever been. My boyfriend and I said goodbye to two of our cats and welcomed two more kittens into our lives. After 9 years together, that boyfriend became my husband and we invited all of our loved ones to share in our big day in our new city. It is amazing how this transition was one of my most challenging experiences, yet its impact has made me feel invincible and more open to handling big changes in the future.
I love this! The toughest changes trike do shape us. And I am so proud of you for joining a meetup group! That’s such a good—and brave!—way to make new friends.
I'm grateful to witness your life and adventures in the Midwest. And still so tickled that one of your new friends is someone I knew from Governor's Honors! It's a small, big world!
Love you, Amy. I'm proud of you (and Chris, I guess 😘).
With my wife getting sick, I don't really know where exactly the crossroad was. The decline in her health was such long drawn out process that it took years to feel like we were on the other side of something. Through that process we've had to grieve so many losses as well as learn how to live within these new constraints on our life, and that choice is something I have to face over and over. Our life has become much smaller, but that does not mean it is without joy. Recently we got a dog, which was something we'd talked about in the years before Sarah got sick, but it was always something we planned to do after we traveled and had kids. Bringing Mosey into our home was partly an acknowledgement that those dreams were no longer part of our future and choosing to build joy where we are right now. It was also a decision that took a lot of courage given Sarah's health. There are still moments of doubt as to whether getting a dog a good idea, but overall, its made brought so much happiness into this new life we've carving out for ourselves.
I absolutely think that making the decision to get a dog is indicative of a shift in a direction from the crossroads. When health is ever-changing, and those changes impact your day-to-day lifestyle, I imagine it's hard to feel like you've "gotten past" such a dynamic shift... Because things are still shifting, and continue to do so. It definitely seems like making that commitment to bringing a dog into your lives shows that you both have a level of comfort now with those changes being your new norm. And that's huge!
Curious, because I love dogs, what kind of dog you guys got 👀👀👀
She’s a little terrier mix. https://www.instagram.com/p/CNK8S42DE_V/?utm_medium=copy_link
Ahhhh, she's so cute!!!💖💖💖 Dogs are wonderful for the soul. I know she loves you both as much as you love her!!!
As always, your words resonate with me! I've been at so many crossroads in my life but reading this, the biggie would be my mom's death. I was by her bedside in the hospital and despite what they show in movies and on TV, it was not peaceful. It was an awful scene, with me begging her not to go...even now I can't write those words without tearing up. I felt like my insides had been torn out. I was 21. And I shut down. It took miles of baby steps to open up again and allow someone into my heart. I'm now married to that someone. I couldn't be more grateful. Yes, I could lose him and my heart would be broken into a million pieces. But I wouldn't trade all the little (and big) moments I get to experience that I wouldn't otherwise. So my biggest crossroads was making the decision to open my heart again. The alternative would've been pretty bleak. As an amateur photographer, I know pictures can tell a thousand tales and I tell my husband that he brought color into my black&white world. xo
I love this, Catherine. What a brave choice ❤️
I feel this so deeply. It was the same with my Dad. Not peaceful. It's absolutely an event that will change you forever.
I'm glad that you've opened your heart again. It takes a lot of courage. ❤️
Really good insights. <3
I wouldn’t have made them without you!
The biggest crossroads of my life was moving to Kansas City, Missouri, 4 years ago. I had just turned 30, and had lived in the same general area near all of my family and friends for my entire life. My boyfriend got a job here, and although I assumed it would just be farmland and people with Fargo accents (neither of those things are true) I took the plunge. We sold our house, got rid of all of our furniture, and drove the 12 hours to Kansas City with 3 cats meowing in the back. We didn't know a soul. The first year was especially difficult because I couldn't find a job no matter how hard I tried. It was the first time I hadn't worked since I was 14 years old. It was a demeaning whirlwind of constantly filling out applications from everything to library managers to Bed, Bath, and Beyond staff, and hearing I am either underqualified to overqualified. My first interview the entire room laughed at me because I referred to one of the interviewees as "ma'am" which apparently isn't taken too very well in the Midwest. I forced myself to join a Meetup group called Nerdy 30 Ladies just so I would know someone else besides my husband. That December it snowed in my hometown in Georgia, and while my friends were all elated about work being cancelled, I was sitting in an apartment many states away missing out on this shard experience and feeling homesick for the first time. The next few years came with many changes, both good and bad. I got a job as a college librarian, and we bought a downtown condo and love exploring our new city. I've made many friends from my meetup group, and my pre-pandemic social life was the most robust it had ever been. My boyfriend and I said goodbye to two of our cats and welcomed two more kittens into our lives. After 9 years together, that boyfriend became my husband and we invited all of our loved ones to share in our big day in our new city. It is amazing how this transition was one of my most challenging experiences, yet its impact has made me feel invincible and more open to handling big changes in the future.
I love this! The toughest changes trike do shape us. And I am so proud of you for joining a meetup group! That’s such a good—and brave!—way to make new friends.
I'm grateful to witness your life and adventures in the Midwest. And still so tickled that one of your new friends is someone I knew from Governor's Honors! It's a small, big world!
Love you, Amy. I'm proud of you (and Chris, I guess 😘).