Oof. Katie, if you're into hugs, I'm giving you a big virtual one right now. I gladly, happily, joyfully(!) pay for my subscription to MSDB (and am grateful and lucky that I can), and this post is such an example of why my subscription means so much to me.
For me, it's not that you changed your mind and opened it up for all readers (I really don't believe there's an *objective* right/wrong there! And I say that as a fellow self-employed person in a helping field); it's that you approached your decision, and the communication about your decision, with such humanity. Which is what this whole endeavor (the endeavor of the newsletter, the endeavor of life) is all about.
There's more I could say, but I don't want to make it about me. And so I just want to thank you for the feeling I get -- that you cultivate -- in this writer/reader relationship, which is that it truly is a relationship, nothing transactional about it (in spirit anyway, even if not in literal fact!).
Also, selfishly, I admit I was *delighted* to have you show up in my inbox twice (!) in one day, including once at night!
Enjoy your break. I'll be here, along with so many others, on the other side.
Katie, your transparency in speaking your truth is grace in and of itself. Deep roots don't grow overnight, grace yourself the time to grow. Humble thanks for dropping the paywall and making your much looked forward to intentions. There really are those of us who do value the work of others but simply cannot afford it.
I am almost 70 years old and have made plenty of mistakes. Some made me feel really bad, embarrassed, dumb. Forgive yourself, learn from this one, carry on. I completely understand the scarcity knee jerk impulse. Be kind to yourself, this too shall pass. Keep writing and sharing. We need you too. Love, BK
Katie, you were the first writer I stumbled upon on Substack, and the one who made me fall in love with the platform so much that I even write a newsletter myself. I am a paying subscriber, and I feel really lucky that I get to support you and your writing. As others have mentioned, I really appreciate the humanity in your writing, your courage and your vulnerability. Your letters are like meditations - prompts to think and feel more deeply. I always look forward to them hitting my inbox.
I know you know this; this year has been such an uncertain and hard year for many. I've had to make some really tough choices about my subscriptions and what to unsubscribe from. I can imagine that people unsubscribing from your newsletter had much more to do with their financial situation than it had with your writing, or their desire to support you. In this sense removing the paywall for your intention post feels really generous and important - to share the awesome guides with others who may otherwise not get to use them. That said your work is valuable and you deserve to continue to be paid for that work. So know that I (and I'm sure many others) will continue supporting you for as long as we can. Your writing is so important, and we want to support you in writing more. With lots of gratitude and the best wishes, and wishing you happy holidays.
Thank you for sharing, the subject line " I made a mistake" is one that really caught my attention, we ask our children to own up to there mistakes and sometimes as adults we aren't very good at it, I love that you got so much clarity of your why and took a risk to share it without you editor. You are right money is tight, and we are all working hard to pay our way, and I wanna support you in your dream job and appreciate why you started this, I get overwhelmed subscribing to one more thing and then remembering when and where the money is coming out, thats not on you thats on me, I get overwhelmed when I go grocery shopping being asked to donate, it has nothing to do with not valuing your or that your material isn't living up our expectations, you are real and I appreciate that about you. I personally don't want to subscribe to one more thing and then feel pressure( my own) Too make sure I am reading this each time it lands in my in box. I just want to donate to you and not get anything for it...could you add a donate button, I wanna support. Please continues to share and be real because we need more of that in our life. Thank you for being you. I bet I could just e-transfer you some money, thats what I will do.
Hi Katie. This broke my heart to read this tonight. The pure joy and excitement that flew off the page in your earlier post today was beautiful to see. I could feel your enthusiasm and excitement to share it with us. I’m a paying subscriber so I was happy I could see it/use it.
Then to see how you felt post the post was sad. I can understand though. Of course you want as many people to utilize this resource you and Becca put so much time into.
For the record, you were one of the first (if not the first) newsletters I paid for when I started here. It wasn’t so I could get access to content behind a paywall. It was because I enjoyed reading the work I could see. So I wanted to support you. This is how I determined my next several paid subscriptions as well. In fact, if things were paywalled I wouldn’t subscribe at all--free or paid. I want to support writers. I choose most of them because they don’t have paywalls. You made a great decision tonight. Enjoy your time away.
I just subscribed yesterday but I've been captivated since I read the first newsletter of yours I received in my inbox! As someone who wants to start blogging just to have my own space on the wide internet, your transparency is incredibly refreshing. I honestly have always struggled with paywalls as a student who doesn't have an income most of the year, especially since I recently started loving reading articles, so I'm grateful that the intentions guide is available for free now! I'm excited to continue to support you next year and in a sense learn alongside you. Happy holidays!
It’s nice hearing that you’re human too, Katie! (And that I’m not the only one in a near-constant state of panic about their newsletter/business plan/etc.!) Sending hugs your way 🥰
These posts, the ones from the gut with no second pair of eyes, are my favorite. As if I joined you in the coffee shop for that latte and we had a chat.
Must be something about 12/12... I had a similar day -- if it could go wrong it did, and I cried briefly for no reason other than overwhelm. We made it through.
May we overthink less, and give ourselves more grace, more often.
Haha, didn't mean to put your gig at risk!! We all need you. 😁 My comment was more about it being from the gut, rather than planned. Second (and third) eyeball sets are always welcome!!
Thank you, Wendy! Writing this post made me realize how disconnected I've been from my inner voice lately. Writing from the gut feels good, albeit scary (especially when I don't have my dear Rebecca to copyedit me, ha!). And, wow, do I need to carry this into 2024: "May we overthink less, and give ourselves more grace, more often."
I don't have the tenure or following that you have, but in my short experience so far, I've seen the posts of mine that have been instinctual and flow driven have been both my favorites AND received the most engagement from my followers. My goal is to find the sweet spot of being planned and organized and still write from the gut in the flow. I guess with practice (and grace) the inner voice comes through regardless of planning or lack of it...maybe?
Hi Katie, I applaud you for staying true to what you believe in, and send a virtual hug. Also: know that you're very, very unlikely to lose me as a Founding Member. I fervently believe in paying people for work you enjoy, and it doesn't matter what paid perks you offer (or not). So long as I continue reading your free posts, you'll have my money.
I started paid subscriptions for Val Thinks a long while back now, and because of my mission to get "as many people" to stop and think each week as possible, I made the choice never to paywall my content. I also offer no paid perks. Maybe it's naive of me, but I believe somewhere out there there are people like me who will pay writers for their work for nothing in return, just to show their support and appreciation.
I appreciate you Katie! Enjoy your holiday and well-deserved break. I look forward to seeing MSDB again in the new year.
PS - when a go fund me-type site switched from fee to donation based per transaction, they made significantly more money. See Tara Brach’s donation format.
I dropped the subscription because I was receiving fewer newsletters and the free content seemed better. Not sure if there was a glitch in the system, but thought you should know.
Your honesty is so brave. Thank you for this piece. I have felt similarly about how wrong a paywall feels deep within my body, how much it makes my work feel limited to a select few, when that is the complete opposite of why I wanted to share my work in the first place. Thank you for sharing this, and for giving us the gift of your intentions guide. I can't wait to dive in. Sending you a hug.
When I first discovered Substack, your honest post was one that made me say, I want to do that. I want to build something like that- the sharing of authentic self in an effort to build community. I love reading what you write because you wrestle with yourself and in sharing your wrestling, I feel more seen. I feel better. Thank you for sharing yourself with this community.
I appreciate your willingness to acknowledge your mistakes (FWIW, I don't think it was necessarily), and candor about how you are living your values. I subscribed because I value the content, and I learned that originally from subscribing to the free content. I think you should live your values, but I also 100% understand that writers and artists have to make money, and I don't begrudge anyone a paywall for their hard work. On the other hand, of course it's nice for readers who have limited resources to be able to participate, and we should all do what we can to include others regardless of income, if we can afford it ourselves.
Oof. Katie, if you're into hugs, I'm giving you a big virtual one right now. I gladly, happily, joyfully(!) pay for my subscription to MSDB (and am grateful and lucky that I can), and this post is such an example of why my subscription means so much to me.
For me, it's not that you changed your mind and opened it up for all readers (I really don't believe there's an *objective* right/wrong there! And I say that as a fellow self-employed person in a helping field); it's that you approached your decision, and the communication about your decision, with such humanity. Which is what this whole endeavor (the endeavor of the newsletter, the endeavor of life) is all about.
There's more I could say, but I don't want to make it about me. And so I just want to thank you for the feeling I get -- that you cultivate -- in this writer/reader relationship, which is that it truly is a relationship, nothing transactional about it (in spirit anyway, even if not in literal fact!).
Also, selfishly, I admit I was *delighted* to have you show up in my inbox twice (!) in one day, including once at night!
Enjoy your break. I'll be here, along with so many others, on the other side.
Rebecca, you are the best. Thank you for always being so supportive and always finding the right words in the right moment. I'm very grateful for you!
I second all of this! Couldn’t say it better.
Me too!
Katie, your transparency in speaking your truth is grace in and of itself. Deep roots don't grow overnight, grace yourself the time to grow. Humble thanks for dropping the paywall and making your much looked forward to intentions. There really are those of us who do value the work of others but simply cannot afford it.
Thank you, Lori. Such beautiful wisdom.
Hey Katie,
I am almost 70 years old and have made plenty of mistakes. Some made me feel really bad, embarrassed, dumb. Forgive yourself, learn from this one, carry on. I completely understand the scarcity knee jerk impulse. Be kind to yourself, this too shall pass. Keep writing and sharing. We need you too. Love, BK
This made me tear up! Thank you.
Katie, you were the first writer I stumbled upon on Substack, and the one who made me fall in love with the platform so much that I even write a newsletter myself. I am a paying subscriber, and I feel really lucky that I get to support you and your writing. As others have mentioned, I really appreciate the humanity in your writing, your courage and your vulnerability. Your letters are like meditations - prompts to think and feel more deeply. I always look forward to them hitting my inbox.
I know you know this; this year has been such an uncertain and hard year for many. I've had to make some really tough choices about my subscriptions and what to unsubscribe from. I can imagine that people unsubscribing from your newsletter had much more to do with their financial situation than it had with your writing, or their desire to support you. In this sense removing the paywall for your intention post feels really generous and important - to share the awesome guides with others who may otherwise not get to use them. That said your work is valuable and you deserve to continue to be paid for that work. So know that I (and I'm sure many others) will continue supporting you for as long as we can. Your writing is so important, and we want to support you in writing more. With lots of gratitude and the best wishes, and wishing you happy holidays.
This is such a beautiful, kind comment. Thank you, Valentina. I really appreciate you!
Thank you for sharing, the subject line " I made a mistake" is one that really caught my attention, we ask our children to own up to there mistakes and sometimes as adults we aren't very good at it, I love that you got so much clarity of your why and took a risk to share it without you editor. You are right money is tight, and we are all working hard to pay our way, and I wanna support you in your dream job and appreciate why you started this, I get overwhelmed subscribing to one more thing and then remembering when and where the money is coming out, thats not on you thats on me, I get overwhelmed when I go grocery shopping being asked to donate, it has nothing to do with not valuing your or that your material isn't living up our expectations, you are real and I appreciate that about you. I personally don't want to subscribe to one more thing and then feel pressure( my own) Too make sure I am reading this each time it lands in my in box. I just want to donate to you and not get anything for it...could you add a donate button, I wanna support. Please continues to share and be real because we need more of that in our life. Thank you for being you. I bet I could just e-transfer you some money, thats what I will do.
You are so sweet, sofie. I'll consider adding a donation button in future posts — thank you so much for the suggestion!
I hope you got my e-transfer. if not please send the email I should use.
Hi Katie. This broke my heart to read this tonight. The pure joy and excitement that flew off the page in your earlier post today was beautiful to see. I could feel your enthusiasm and excitement to share it with us. I’m a paying subscriber so I was happy I could see it/use it.
Then to see how you felt post the post was sad. I can understand though. Of course you want as many people to utilize this resource you and Becca put so much time into.
For the record, you were one of the first (if not the first) newsletters I paid for when I started here. It wasn’t so I could get access to content behind a paywall. It was because I enjoyed reading the work I could see. So I wanted to support you. This is how I determined my next several paid subscriptions as well. In fact, if things were paywalled I wouldn’t subscribe at all--free or paid. I want to support writers. I choose most of them because they don’t have paywalls. You made a great decision tonight. Enjoy your time away.
Thank you, Kim! This really means a lot. Thank you for your continued support. I feel good about the decision <3
I just subscribed yesterday but I've been captivated since I read the first newsletter of yours I received in my inbox! As someone who wants to start blogging just to have my own space on the wide internet, your transparency is incredibly refreshing. I honestly have always struggled with paywalls as a student who doesn't have an income most of the year, especially since I recently started loving reading articles, so I'm grateful that the intentions guide is available for free now! I'm excited to continue to support you next year and in a sense learn alongside you. Happy holidays!
Thank you, Natalia! I hope it's a helpful guide!
It’s nice hearing that you’re human too, Katie! (And that I’m not the only one in a near-constant state of panic about their newsletter/business plan/etc.!) Sending hugs your way 🥰
Thanks, Terrell! I'm sorry you know that panic feeling, too. It makes me feel less alone to know I'm not the only one!
These posts, the ones from the gut with no second pair of eyes, are my favorite. As if I joined you in the coffee shop for that latte and we had a chat.
Must be something about 12/12... I had a similar day -- if it could go wrong it did, and I cried briefly for no reason other than overwhelm. We made it through.
May we overthink less, and give ourselves more grace, more often.
Happy holidays!! 😘
P.S. I also had a very odd, overwhelming day yesterday. I blame Mercury going into retrograde. 🌌
Hoping wacky Wednesday the 13th is better for all !
Hahaha, shhhh! Don't give KHG any ideas about writing without a second pair of eyes, or else I will be without a job 😂
(Editor's note: KHG's writing is typically very clean and error-free, so she makes my job easy!)
Haha, didn't mean to put your gig at risk!! We all need you. 😁 My comment was more about it being from the gut, rather than planned. Second (and third) eyeball sets are always welcome!!
Thank you, Wendy! Writing this post made me realize how disconnected I've been from my inner voice lately. Writing from the gut feels good, albeit scary (especially when I don't have my dear Rebecca to copyedit me, ha!). And, wow, do I need to carry this into 2024: "May we overthink less, and give ourselves more grace, more often."
I don't have the tenure or following that you have, but in my short experience so far, I've seen the posts of mine that have been instinctual and flow driven have been both my favorites AND received the most engagement from my followers. My goal is to find the sweet spot of being planned and organized and still write from the gut in the flow. I guess with practice (and grace) the inner voice comes through regardless of planning or lack of it...maybe?
Yes! That’s a wonderful goal.
Hi Katie, I applaud you for staying true to what you believe in, and send a virtual hug. Also: know that you're very, very unlikely to lose me as a Founding Member. I fervently believe in paying people for work you enjoy, and it doesn't matter what paid perks you offer (or not). So long as I continue reading your free posts, you'll have my money.
I started paid subscriptions for Val Thinks a long while back now, and because of my mission to get "as many people" to stop and think each week as possible, I made the choice never to paywall my content. I also offer no paid perks. Maybe it's naive of me, but I believe somewhere out there there are people like me who will pay writers for their work for nothing in return, just to show their support and appreciation.
I appreciate you Katie! Enjoy your holiday and well-deserved break. I look forward to seeing MSDB again in the new year.
Thank you, Val. I appreciate you so much!
PS - when a go fund me-type site switched from fee to donation based per transaction, they made significantly more money. See Tara Brach’s donation format.
This is very interesting!
I dropped the subscription because I was receiving fewer newsletters and the free content seemed better. Not sure if there was a glitch in the system, but thought you should know.
Thank you! That's helpful feedback.
Just a quick note to say how much I appreciate your honesty, transparency, and vulnerability. Offering you so much grace and gratitude this evening.
Thank you, Susan. Happy to report that I slept well after sending out this post :)
Your honesty is so brave. Thank you for this piece. I have felt similarly about how wrong a paywall feels deep within my body, how much it makes my work feel limited to a select few, when that is the complete opposite of why I wanted to share my work in the first place. Thank you for sharing this, and for giving us the gift of your intentions guide. I can't wait to dive in. Sending you a hug.
Thank you, Tatiana! That means a lot.
Katie,
When I first discovered Substack, your honest post was one that made me say, I want to do that. I want to build something like that- the sharing of authentic self in an effort to build community. I love reading what you write because you wrestle with yourself and in sharing your wrestling, I feel more seen. I feel better. Thank you for sharing yourself with this community.
I appreciate your willingness to acknowledge your mistakes (FWIW, I don't think it was necessarily), and candor about how you are living your values. I subscribed because I value the content, and I learned that originally from subscribing to the free content. I think you should live your values, but I also 100% understand that writers and artists have to make money, and I don't begrudge anyone a paywall for their hard work. On the other hand, of course it's nice for readers who have limited resources to be able to participate, and we should all do what we can to include others regardless of income, if we can afford it ourselves.