Hi Katie, i'm writing you this message a few months after I've read this article. Today I have a date scheduled in my calendar remembering me that in August I wasn't ok with my life. Since I realize that, I've change to a new job, I've started pottery lessons and I've bougth some fly tickets for my and my couple to visit USA for the first time. I've also decided to stop working late hours and to be in touch with my friends more often. Thank you, it meaned a lot for me.
Marilina, this message made my week! Thank you for taking this advice to heart and thank you so much for following up. I am so proud of you and all the incredible choices you've made!
This week I just made the decision to end a relationship I've been in off & on for the last couple of years. I've been thinking & struggling about doing it since 2019. But now that I've actually done it... along with feeling sad & somewhat guilty... I feel relief, like I can breathe easier. The 'doing' can be so incredibly hard but the thinking about it was much harder on me.
Thanks for this timely article! It really spoke to me.
I am going to be making a big change in my life, moving to another province. It's the right thing to do & to be with the right person. It is challenging & will be a lot of work but I'm ready to make this transition. A lot of emotions come along with it. Looking forward to talking this next big step in my life.
I am trying to decide if I want to stop what I do with work as a caregiver and take on an office job where I won't be as exhausted from caring for everyone else all the time. I'm hoping to decide what I'm going to do next with the next two weeks vacation I have. I still will continue with my care.com job which I adore, but I can't go back to being an angel that visits people to help them with everything anymore. It's too much and it's not the pay, it's the toll it takes on me in so many unexplainable ways.
One thing I know about caregiving is that it's exhausting. It makes total sense why you feel like you need a break! Good luck as you figure out what's next, Laura. I'm rooting for you!
Like Brian, I too have made a big life change by leaving my job this summer without having a firm and definitive job lined up next. I've never before in my adult (or even teenage) life been in a position where I haven't had full-time work awaiting me when I've left a job, and while it was and is a little scary, it feels really affirming to have taken time for myself and to have the space and freedom to decide what's next.
I'm fortunate that I have the privilege to make this choice, thanks to my husband's job and his employer-sponsored health insurance. I've been doing my best to recognize that privilege and to try not to let myself get too paralyzed by uncertainty or internal pressure while I work out what's next for me. I left my last job at the end of June after more than a year of grappling with negative emotions and poor management that left me feeling undermined and insecure. I never thought I'd leave my job without having the next one lined up, but after having many supportive, seeking conversations with my husband and my therapist, I took the leap, and every reaction I've had from others since then has only affirmed my decision.
I'm just starting to dip my toes into the waters of researching what a self-employment model could look like for me, if I can cobble together enough clients to find steady work, and I'm paying close attention to my intuition and to the sense of freedom and excitement that this exploration is bringing me (as opposed to how I feel when I think about applying for other full-time jobs, which is essentially dead inside).
I like the thought of blocking off some calendar time in several months to reflect on what I've built and whether it's still serving me, especially as my husband and I prepare to welcome our first child at the end of the year.
I am so glad you brought up privilege—that’s an important part of this discussion and you’re so wise to acknowledge it! Congrats on making a big decision and keeping an open mind about what’s ahead. It sounds like you’re listening to your intuition. I’m so proud of you!
I actually just made a big life change and followed a somewhat similar process!
The pandemic eliminated a job I had for a while which was no longer the right job for me anyway, so I took my separation as an opportunity to shift into something that fit my needs better. I was offered a new job earlier this year but something didn't seem right about it. Even so, the financial outlook was better if I took the job, and the general sense was that doing something was better than nothing. I walked into a contentious, disorganized, unprofessional situation. I was very unhappy and under a ton of strain; loss of sleep, headaches, difficulty engaging with work that usually is quite approachable for me.
So I decided in June: this isn't for me, but, what I need is another job, that is my focus. I will try to apply for new jobs, and I will assess in late July/early August whether I am juggling the job and the applications enough to keep the job a while longer, and in the meantime I will try to chill out a little bit about the job knowing that I decided that I can quit if I need to, and that I don't need to work myself to exhaustion every day dealing with others' personalities - if bosses get impatient with me, it is what it is.
At the end of July, having coolly witnessed tons of bickering & seeing that there was never going to be a break in the burnout-inducing chaos (not even in the dead of summer), I gave my notice. I've been out for a week and a half. I call it "Me Time". I haven't stopped being busy - tons of home projects and side projects needed catching up, and I'm preparing for a wilderness trip this weekend which is a mostly new thing for me. I also realize this is possible because of the privilege of savings & stable finances, and I intend to re-engage with work right after Labor Day through freelance markets. Still, a huge burden has been lifted from my mind. I identified something that wasn't working, I made plans to remediate it, I took action, and now I feel awesome.
P.S. I now hear almost everyone is leaving that company. They're small & experiencing almost total turnover. Once I started texting co-workers offline, the floodgates opened up about how they were feeling miserable and burnt-out. While at first I strongly questioned myself about giving up on a job quickly, it now feels totally justified!
This is really good advice -- I love the idea of setting a date 3 months in advance, and then asking yourself these questions. Gives me things to ponder...
Hi Katie, i'm writing you this message a few months after I've read this article. Today I have a date scheduled in my calendar remembering me that in August I wasn't ok with my life. Since I realize that, I've change to a new job, I've started pottery lessons and I've bougth some fly tickets for my and my couple to visit USA for the first time. I've also decided to stop working late hours and to be in touch with my friends more often. Thank you, it meaned a lot for me.
Marilina, this message made my week! Thank you for taking this advice to heart and thank you so much for following up. I am so proud of you and all the incredible choices you've made!
This week I just made the decision to end a relationship I've been in off & on for the last couple of years. I've been thinking & struggling about doing it since 2019. But now that I've actually done it... along with feeling sad & somewhat guilty... I feel relief, like I can breathe easier. The 'doing' can be so incredibly hard but the thinking about it was much harder on me.
Thanks for this timely article! It really spoke to me.
Yes, Janet! That's such a great feeling. I'm so happy for you!
I am going to be making a big change in my life, moving to another province. It's the right thing to do & to be with the right person. It is challenging & will be a lot of work but I'm ready to make this transition. A lot of emotions come along with it. Looking forward to talking this next big step in my life.
Oh wow, Sarah! Congrats on making such a big choice and good luck as you take this step. I'm happy for you!
I am trying to decide if I want to stop what I do with work as a caregiver and take on an office job where I won't be as exhausted from caring for everyone else all the time. I'm hoping to decide what I'm going to do next with the next two weeks vacation I have. I still will continue with my care.com job which I adore, but I can't go back to being an angel that visits people to help them with everything anymore. It's too much and it's not the pay, it's the toll it takes on me in so many unexplainable ways.
One thing I know about caregiving is that it's exhausting. It makes total sense why you feel like you need a break! Good luck as you figure out what's next, Laura. I'm rooting for you!
Like Brian, I too have made a big life change by leaving my job this summer without having a firm and definitive job lined up next. I've never before in my adult (or even teenage) life been in a position where I haven't had full-time work awaiting me when I've left a job, and while it was and is a little scary, it feels really affirming to have taken time for myself and to have the space and freedom to decide what's next.
I'm fortunate that I have the privilege to make this choice, thanks to my husband's job and his employer-sponsored health insurance. I've been doing my best to recognize that privilege and to try not to let myself get too paralyzed by uncertainty or internal pressure while I work out what's next for me. I left my last job at the end of June after more than a year of grappling with negative emotions and poor management that left me feeling undermined and insecure. I never thought I'd leave my job without having the next one lined up, but after having many supportive, seeking conversations with my husband and my therapist, I took the leap, and every reaction I've had from others since then has only affirmed my decision.
I'm just starting to dip my toes into the waters of researching what a self-employment model could look like for me, if I can cobble together enough clients to find steady work, and I'm paying close attention to my intuition and to the sense of freedom and excitement that this exploration is bringing me (as opposed to how I feel when I think about applying for other full-time jobs, which is essentially dead inside).
I like the thought of blocking off some calendar time in several months to reflect on what I've built and whether it's still serving me, especially as my husband and I prepare to welcome our first child at the end of the year.
I am so glad you brought up privilege—that’s an important part of this discussion and you’re so wise to acknowledge it! Congrats on making a big decision and keeping an open mind about what’s ahead. It sounds like you’re listening to your intuition. I’m so proud of you!
I actually just made a big life change and followed a somewhat similar process!
The pandemic eliminated a job I had for a while which was no longer the right job for me anyway, so I took my separation as an opportunity to shift into something that fit my needs better. I was offered a new job earlier this year but something didn't seem right about it. Even so, the financial outlook was better if I took the job, and the general sense was that doing something was better than nothing. I walked into a contentious, disorganized, unprofessional situation. I was very unhappy and under a ton of strain; loss of sleep, headaches, difficulty engaging with work that usually is quite approachable for me.
So I decided in June: this isn't for me, but, what I need is another job, that is my focus. I will try to apply for new jobs, and I will assess in late July/early August whether I am juggling the job and the applications enough to keep the job a while longer, and in the meantime I will try to chill out a little bit about the job knowing that I decided that I can quit if I need to, and that I don't need to work myself to exhaustion every day dealing with others' personalities - if bosses get impatient with me, it is what it is.
At the end of July, having coolly witnessed tons of bickering & seeing that there was never going to be a break in the burnout-inducing chaos (not even in the dead of summer), I gave my notice. I've been out for a week and a half. I call it "Me Time". I haven't stopped being busy - tons of home projects and side projects needed catching up, and I'm preparing for a wilderness trip this weekend which is a mostly new thing for me. I also realize this is possible because of the privilege of savings & stable finances, and I intend to re-engage with work right after Labor Day through freelance markets. Still, a huge burden has been lifted from my mind. I identified something that wasn't working, I made plans to remediate it, I took action, and now I feel awesome.
P.S. I now hear almost everyone is leaving that company. They're small & experiencing almost total turnover. Once I started texting co-workers offline, the floodgates opened up about how they were feeling miserable and burnt-out. While at first I strongly questioned myself about giving up on a job quickly, it now feels totally justified!
I love this, Brian! Way to make what was clearly a good choice. I hope you continue to enjoy your You Time as you figure out what’s next!
This is really good advice -- I love the idea of setting a date 3 months in advance, and then asking yourself these questions. Gives me things to ponder...
It’s helped me many times!