Nov 1, 2022Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar, Rebecca Coates
I'm curious how your productivity changed after you had a baby, too. I find myself in a constant battle of meeting baby's needs + house chores + work responsibilities (We are balancing child care between my partner and I). In many ways, the baby's demand for me to slow down and pay attention to him has been so healing. In other ways, I still experience the pressure to "do" and feel myself resisting the pull to slow down. "But when will and how will the things get done if I don't do them??" I think. How do you balance it?
Oh my gosh, I wish I had the answer! I completely understand the healing feeling of slowing down. Baby time is completely different than any other time (something that the author wrote about in "Four Thousand Weeks," actually!). I try to ask myself *why* I'm doing certain things. Cleaning or making a meal is a no-brainer: it has to get done to stay sane and survive. But the urge to something like organizing an elaborate photo shoot for Christmas cards, for example, is something I'm trying to pause and think about. Am I doing it because I want to, or because society tells me I need to be doing/proving these things? It's such an eye-opening experience!
Nov 1, 2022Liked by Rebecca Coates, Katie Hawkins-Gaar
Reading this column today was a wonderful version of resting. It’s so easy for me to scroll through my emails for the “important“ ones and forget to go back to the ones that really matter. But this one hits me in the guts and I’m glad I read it first thing in the morning
Thank you for writing this. A month ago I was on the Camino del Norte a pilgrimage path in the north of Spain. For 3 weeks I was just walking, every day, meeting new people along the way, forming groups, it was a constant coming and going, arriving and leaving and it really showed me how this life literally is a path and it’s about timing and accepting that everything is constantly changing. Like you I love lists and crossing things off but it also limits intuition and gut decisions, something that felt so tangible on my hike. Since that I am trying to embrace that more. Your essay just reminded me of that. ❤️
I love this piece! Thank you for sharing it with me. It hits close to home - I am obsessed with productivity but need to get better at taking my foot off the pedal.
I'm really looking forward to reading the book now!
I need to finish this book (I borrowed it from the Libby app)! I love your take on it and life itself as someone who was recovering from productivity geek-dom haha.
Slowing down is HARD. I've devoured so many pieces and a course even on living in joy and pleasure now, and stop trying to seek it on weekends or in that never-quite-reachable "I'll be happy when..." moment.
Still working on it; it'll get drilled in my head someday and I'll actually live it (hopefully very, VERY soon!) but until then, it's wonderful to have essays like yours to remind me in such a meaningful and powerful way. <3
May I suggest, as a follow up, Arthur C Brooks’ Strength to Strength? I just finished it over this strange week between Christmas and new year, and adored it. I think you may too.
Oh so cool! I feel so comforted reading your conversation. And thank you for the suggestion! I bet you're right. I just put in a request at the library :)
As someone who loves lists and feels like I always need to be doing, producing, this is such an important reminder. Even weekends, which should be for rest, are the one time when I can work on my writing without feeling guilty. Thank you for the reminder.
I'm curious how your productivity changed after you had a baby, too. I find myself in a constant battle of meeting baby's needs + house chores + work responsibilities (We are balancing child care between my partner and I). In many ways, the baby's demand for me to slow down and pay attention to him has been so healing. In other ways, I still experience the pressure to "do" and feel myself resisting the pull to slow down. "But when will and how will the things get done if I don't do them??" I think. How do you balance it?
Oh my gosh, I wish I had the answer! I completely understand the healing feeling of slowing down. Baby time is completely different than any other time (something that the author wrote about in "Four Thousand Weeks," actually!). I try to ask myself *why* I'm doing certain things. Cleaning or making a meal is a no-brainer: it has to get done to stay sane and survive. But the urge to something like organizing an elaborate photo shoot for Christmas cards, for example, is something I'm trying to pause and think about. Am I doing it because I want to, or because society tells me I need to be doing/proving these things? It's such an eye-opening experience!
Reading this column today was a wonderful version of resting. It’s so easy for me to scroll through my emails for the “important“ ones and forget to go back to the ones that really matter. But this one hits me in the guts and I’m glad I read it first thing in the morning
Aw, that means so much, Babs. Thank you!
She is exactly right. It was a meditation.
Deeply relate to this. Thanks for reminding me what's up from down.
You do just the same for me, Kelton. Thank you!
Thank you for writing this. A month ago I was on the Camino del Norte a pilgrimage path in the north of Spain. For 3 weeks I was just walking, every day, meeting new people along the way, forming groups, it was a constant coming and going, arriving and leaving and it really showed me how this life literally is a path and it’s about timing and accepting that everything is constantly changing. Like you I love lists and crossing things off but it also limits intuition and gut decisions, something that felt so tangible on my hike. Since that I am trying to embrace that more. Your essay just reminded me of that. ❤️
Wow, what a beautiful experience! I love your takeaways!
Wow, hit me real hard. I read the book before, and yet here I am still trying to understand how to balance it all. Thank you for the reminder!
You're welcome! Thanks for reading and commenting. <3
"Today is a good day to recognize how far I’ve come." Thank you. I really needed to hear that today.
I'm so glad. xo
I loved
Thanks for post. I really enjoyed reading it. 💟
I love this piece! Thank you for sharing it with me. It hits close to home - I am obsessed with productivity but need to get better at taking my foot off the pedal.
I'm really looking forward to reading the book now!
Same! I borrowed it from the library but I’m thinking about buying a copy so I can revisit it whenever the workaholic tendencies creep back.
Yeah! Think of all the highlights and notes you'll get to make with an owned copy.
I need to finish this book (I borrowed it from the Libby app)! I love your take on it and life itself as someone who was recovering from productivity geek-dom haha.
Slowing down is HARD. I've devoured so many pieces and a course even on living in joy and pleasure now, and stop trying to seek it on weekends or in that never-quite-reachable "I'll be happy when..." moment.
Still working on it; it'll get drilled in my head someday and I'll actually live it (hopefully very, VERY soon!) but until then, it's wonderful to have essays like yours to remind me in such a meaningful and powerful way. <3
Thank you, Cierra!
Of course! Finally got to renew it again from the library and finished it yesterday, and it was a good read! Lots to think about.
Lovely Katie. I spoke to Burkeman around the time of the book launch, and got to ask him about the tensions between productivity and parenting
https://www.thenewfatherhood.org/p/on-productivity-and-parenting-a-discussion
May I suggest, as a follow up, Arthur C Brooks’ Strength to Strength? I just finished it over this strange week between Christmas and new year, and adored it. I think you may too.
Oh so cool! I feel so comforted reading your conversation. And thank you for the suggestion! I bet you're right. I just put in a request at the library :)
As someone who loves lists and feels like I always need to be doing, producing, this is such an important reminder. Even weekends, which should be for rest, are the one time when I can work on my writing without feeling guilty. Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you, Sarah! I feel the same exact way. Relaxing can be such a difficult thing to do!
Very inspiring post Katie.
You did it again! Deeply relatable. Katie. Thank you!
Aw, that's so nice. Thank you, Kathy!