Such a beautiful perspective on living and dying. I was diagnosed with cancer at 44; I had 3 kids, 15, 13 and 10. I was changed forever. Now 22 years later, I am still living my life as if today may be the last day. I am deeply passionate about life, makes my husband very confused in so far as why I have so many projects in progress all the time. I believe until death looks you directly in your face, one cannot completely understand the gift of another day.
Totally agree with you on that Cathy and am happy to hear you're living your life. From someone who is in the same boat, I get it. Every, single, day, I get it. Be well and happy
Great post Katie and thank you for dragging this subject out into daylight and giving us all a timely reminder. My brother in law has a tat on his forearm that says "just visiting" So appropriate! Hugs. And I totally love the pic!
I loved this post. I'm currently in the search for a new job, and I've been using this framework (we all die someday, and who knows how much time I get here) to think about what I need in a job in order to live in line with my values and the kind of person I want to be. It sounds grim, but it doesn't feel grim to me! It provides a sort of clarity of what I'm looking for that is hard to access otherwise. Thank you for writing this Katie!
Thanks, Katie. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. Grief has a way of stirring us back to life and inspiring us in the darkest times. I look forward to reading more of your work. Cheers to life, death, and everything in between.
In his book, "This Life: Secular Faith, Spiritual Freedom," Martin Hagglund argues that the finite quality of our life is what makes pursuing anything meaningful. Ever since I have read that (and the book in general, which goes into philosophical depth and explains what he means in more detail), I have been trying to meditate on the finiteness on my own life in order to make meaningful choices as much as I can.
`Come on now Katie. Losing the love of one's life oft happens for a reason, and in many cases it can be a good one though it often seems like the end of the world when it happens. We never consider anything but the torment of the betrayal or the loneliness that buries us in our own sadness and despair.
But learning is always a voyage and not a harbor. The experience may wreak havoc with us but I have learned that being alone is the best thing to do initially. We need to find ourself again, and cope with things by accepting the pain and emptiness.
We can get by that but not the reality of death you addressed, that occurs at some point in our existence. I hesitate to call myself Christian because I have relatives who turn my stomach who make that claim by going to church to sing Jesus Loves Me on Sundays but being hypocrites by cheating, lying and defrauding others the other six days of the week.
I despise them and my best client is an atheist who throws money at me. She is a doctor and we connect. How about a $1000. tip for $1400. work? She is generous to me and has been a client over three decades.
We disagree on some things but that does not preclude our friendship.
I said all that to say this. I do believe in the Truth of scriptures about death and dying and have watched people die, as well as having glimpses of same where things have occurred that tend to in fact favor me as they validate my belief in life after death. In other words I have been exposed to things that add to scriptures that move me towards the Truth of scriptures.
Death faced with the Truth is not a scary experience...I have observed three people close to me die and was there before and after. None were afraid.
While it is the Freedom of God to believe what we want and to live how we want and do what we want it is important to wrestle with the reality of life after death as death is for eternity and failure to accept the Mercy of Jesus is a death sentence of spiritual damnation.
As I said, I have atheists as friends and our opposing beliefs do not mar these close friendship attachments nor should they.
In fact God allows us free moral choice to reject His Son and for any of us to do as we wish. Homosexuals have a right to be homosexuals even though I believe it is wrong. God is the Epitome of freedom and gives us all free moral choice.
I do not present as a "holier than thou" typeset because it even says in scriptures all have fallen short. Salvation is NOTHING but the process of feeling penitent and seeking forgiveness by Jesus the Son of the Living God. If we are not humble we are lost.
Just think, in another 35-40 years you will still be eligible to become the president of the US. Even if you are half demented, suffering dementia, unable to walk, always tripping, stumbling and falling and can't string together more than a word or two, you have a future ahead of you unlike none other. And to top it off, there is free ice cream every day!
Death is not scary...it's how your life evolves in the last few years preceding it. My advice: Never get old.
Such a beautiful perspective on living and dying. I was diagnosed with cancer at 44; I had 3 kids, 15, 13 and 10. I was changed forever. Now 22 years later, I am still living my life as if today may be the last day. I am deeply passionate about life, makes my husband very confused in so far as why I have so many projects in progress all the time. I believe until death looks you directly in your face, one cannot completely understand the gift of another day.
Oh Cathy, thank you for sharing your experience and perspective. It’s so valuable ❤️
Totally agree with you on that Cathy and am happy to hear you're living your life. From someone who is in the same boat, I get it. Every, single, day, I get it. Be well and happy
Great post Katie and thank you for dragging this subject out into daylight and giving us all a timely reminder. My brother in law has a tat on his forearm that says "just visiting" So appropriate! Hugs. And I totally love the pic!
I love that, Lori!
He wears it proudly!
i am a Death Doula and am now also working on my Funeral Director certification. i give this article two very enthusiastic thumbs up. yes yes yes.
I appreciate this seal of approval very much!
I loved this post. I'm currently in the search for a new job, and I've been using this framework (we all die someday, and who knows how much time I get here) to think about what I need in a job in order to live in line with my values and the kind of person I want to be. It sounds grim, but it doesn't feel grim to me! It provides a sort of clarity of what I'm looking for that is hard to access otherwise. Thank you for writing this Katie!
What a smart way to approach the job hunt! Good luck finding something that fits your values, Kaziah!
Katie, this is so beautiful. You made me cry this morning, thank you. I know you know I mean that. 🤍
Carla, that means the world! ❤️
I needed this so much this morning. Thanks for the reminder. I hope to channel my inner Jim Henson and approach death with curiosity and interest.
Thank you for reading! Isn’t that such a lovely way to approach it?
I enjoyed your piece very much, Katie. It reminded me of one of the poems I wrote a month ago about my sixteen year old soul puppy, Suki.
« Keenly aware of my mortality
I chose to sit with her
To mingle and explore
All the ways I wasted life
All the tears
And worst —Fears
Aware of the existence of the end
I struggled to find meaning in the day
Did it matter the water I consumed?
Or the wine that swirled in my head?
Did it make a difference if I stayed in bed?
Or I ran fast instead?
I stared her in the face
Death
Will you stay with me forever?
So I can taste life a little better »
Thank you so much for sharing that poem, Stella! It's beautiful.
Thanks, Katie. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. Grief has a way of stirring us back to life and inspiring us in the darkest times. I look forward to reading more of your work. Cheers to life, death, and everything in between.
Thank you for this essay Katie.
In his book, "This Life: Secular Faith, Spiritual Freedom," Martin Hagglund argues that the finite quality of our life is what makes pursuing anything meaningful. Ever since I have read that (and the book in general, which goes into philosophical depth and explains what he means in more detail), I have been trying to meditate on the finiteness on my own life in order to make meaningful choices as much as I can.
I love this. Thank you for the recommendation!
You're welcome. Hope you like it!
`Come on now Katie. Losing the love of one's life oft happens for a reason, and in many cases it can be a good one though it often seems like the end of the world when it happens. We never consider anything but the torment of the betrayal or the loneliness that buries us in our own sadness and despair.
But learning is always a voyage and not a harbor. The experience may wreak havoc with us but I have learned that being alone is the best thing to do initially. We need to find ourself again, and cope with things by accepting the pain and emptiness.
We can get by that but not the reality of death you addressed, that occurs at some point in our existence. I hesitate to call myself Christian because I have relatives who turn my stomach who make that claim by going to church to sing Jesus Loves Me on Sundays but being hypocrites by cheating, lying and defrauding others the other six days of the week.
I despise them and my best client is an atheist who throws money at me. She is a doctor and we connect. How about a $1000. tip for $1400. work? She is generous to me and has been a client over three decades.
We disagree on some things but that does not preclude our friendship.
I said all that to say this. I do believe in the Truth of scriptures about death and dying and have watched people die, as well as having glimpses of same where things have occurred that tend to in fact favor me as they validate my belief in life after death. In other words I have been exposed to things that add to scriptures that move me towards the Truth of scriptures.
Death faced with the Truth is not a scary experience...I have observed three people close to me die and was there before and after. None were afraid.
While it is the Freedom of God to believe what we want and to live how we want and do what we want it is important to wrestle with the reality of life after death as death is for eternity and failure to accept the Mercy of Jesus is a death sentence of spiritual damnation.
As I said, I have atheists as friends and our opposing beliefs do not mar these close friendship attachments nor should they.
In fact God allows us free moral choice to reject His Son and for any of us to do as we wish. Homosexuals have a right to be homosexuals even though I believe it is wrong. God is the Epitome of freedom and gives us all free moral choice.
I do not present as a "holier than thou" typeset because it even says in scriptures all have fallen short. Salvation is NOTHING but the process of feeling penitent and seeking forgiveness by Jesus the Son of the Living God. If we are not humble we are lost.
Just think, in another 35-40 years you will still be eligible to become the president of the US. Even if you are half demented, suffering dementia, unable to walk, always tripping, stumbling and falling and can't string together more than a word or two, you have a future ahead of you unlike none other. And to top it off, there is free ice cream every day!
Death is not scary...it's how your life evolves in the last few years preceding it. My advice: Never get old.