All of parenting is letting go, to work yourself out of a job, if we can borrow a phrase from capitalism for anything good... My two are 31 & 37 with young ones of their own. When my youngest was graduated from college, I had this great idea for a parenting book. It would be exactly 18 chapters and just be this long to-do list, each year a few more items are removed until there is nothing left to do. So many parents keep adding to their list as their child grows up but that’s not the job, is it? It’s a hard reality for a lot of people. (Hard for me, too... but being wanted far eclipses being needed.)
I didn’t write that book and probably never will. Neither will either of my kids... too busy raising their kids, though we talk about the “to-do list” and they carry it around in their heads. (If anyone wants to take a crack at the book, go for it!)
This is a beautiful piece, sweet reminders that maybe we all just need to give ourselves and one another a little grace. And thanks for the link to setting weekly intentions. Definitely planning to test this out!
I love brain dumps like this. It is so freeing and allows us to explore the inside of our own brain. I haven't done that in my Substack, but have hundreds of OneNote pages filled with who knows what. I was particularly touched by your note about growing up fast. My twins just turned 21 last week and I'm still in shock. I love every new stage they move into, but miss the earlier stages. It is a challenge to not see them in my mind's eye as two-year-olds every day. Thanks!
I loved reading your "random samplings"! I have grandchildren now, and even they are now teen-agers, but so much of this triggered memories and thoughts. My children watched Mr. Rogers, and some less inspiring things, as well, but I'm glad they at least had that. I want to say to you that no perfect parent exists, but you are certainly on the right track. Thanks. And you have triggered thoughts for me to write about, too.
I love everything about this. Thanks for the book recommendation too. I’ve definitely been one to pull away from feelings, especially the last few years, but I’m working on it.
Ah Katie - your little one is but two and mine are 22 and almost 17. Yet, so much of what you wrote resonates this week with my youngest. Love for our "little ones", in all its dimensions, is such a rich experience and your thoughts are poignant reminders of this. Thank you for all of it.
New here. My kids are tweens now, and the warm them first still applies! Are they warm also, but I try to let them manage their layers now. My substack, Unstuck I’m Time is a kinda similar venture...I had a bad news brain cancer diagnosis and have been writing and drawing my way forward. 💚
This newsletter issue was quite lovely! Your recent issues have been particularly resonating with me — there’s something about the fall chill in the air that feels poignant and hopeful. I especially loved your (incomplete) list of things that help. Practicing embodiment has been a major lesson for me as I’ve become a new parent over the past 10 months. Your point about your parenting aspirations being sneaky signals to care for yourself is spot-on!
The advice to find something beautiful reminds me of a line from the Pixar movie Soul: "that's just regular old living." I feel emotional just writing that because it is such a simple yet profound concept. It's a silly enough movie with a talking cat as one of the main characters, but for me, it was so much more than that.
All of parenting is letting go, to work yourself out of a job, if we can borrow a phrase from capitalism for anything good... My two are 31 & 37 with young ones of their own. When my youngest was graduated from college, I had this great idea for a parenting book. It would be exactly 18 chapters and just be this long to-do list, each year a few more items are removed until there is nothing left to do. So many parents keep adding to their list as their child grows up but that’s not the job, is it? It’s a hard reality for a lot of people. (Hard for me, too... but being wanted far eclipses being needed.)
I didn’t write that book and probably never will. Neither will either of my kids... too busy raising their kids, though we talk about the “to-do list” and they carry it around in their heads. (If anyone wants to take a crack at the book, go for it!)
Oh, I love that to-do list idea, Gerard! What a beautiful visual.
Wonderful writing this week Katie. I know those feelings and you captured them so well.
Thank you, Kevin! Means so much coming from you.
This is a beautiful piece, sweet reminders that maybe we all just need to give ourselves and one another a little grace. And thanks for the link to setting weekly intentions. Definitely planning to test this out!
Wonderful! I'll be writing more about weekly intentions in a few weeks!
I love brain dumps like this. It is so freeing and allows us to explore the inside of our own brain. I haven't done that in my Substack, but have hundreds of OneNote pages filled with who knows what. I was particularly touched by your note about growing up fast. My twins just turned 21 last week and I'm still in shock. I love every new stage they move into, but miss the earlier stages. It is a challenge to not see them in my mind's eye as two-year-olds every day. Thanks!
I hope you try a post like this soon, David. It's rewarding!
I loved reading your "random samplings"! I have grandchildren now, and even they are now teen-agers, but so much of this triggered memories and thoughts. My children watched Mr. Rogers, and some less inspiring things, as well, but I'm glad they at least had that. I want to say to you that no perfect parent exists, but you are certainly on the right track. Thanks. And you have triggered thoughts for me to write about, too.
I love that, Kathleen! xo
I love everything about this. Thanks for the book recommendation too. I’ve definitely been one to pull away from feelings, especially the last few years, but I’m working on it.
It's so hard not to! I hope you read that book. I really enjoyed it!
I am reading it and it’s really good.
Ah Katie - your little one is but two and mine are 22 and almost 17. Yet, so much of what you wrote resonates this week with my youngest. Love for our "little ones", in all its dimensions, is such a rich experience and your thoughts are poignant reminders of this. Thank you for all of it.
Thank YOU, Kathy!
New here. My kids are tweens now, and the warm them first still applies! Are they warm also, but I try to let them manage their layers now. My substack, Unstuck I’m Time is a kinda similar venture...I had a bad news brain cancer diagnosis and have been writing and drawing my way forward. 💚
Oh Cassie, I'm glad to have found your work. Writing and drawing your way forward is such a beautiful thing to do.
This newsletter issue was quite lovely! Your recent issues have been particularly resonating with me — there’s something about the fall chill in the air that feels poignant and hopeful. I especially loved your (incomplete) list of things that help. Practicing embodiment has been a major lesson for me as I’ve become a new parent over the past 10 months. Your point about your parenting aspirations being sneaky signals to care for yourself is spot-on!
Thank you, Brittany! And I totally agree with your observation about the fall air!
The advice to find something beautiful reminds me of a line from the Pixar movie Soul: "that's just regular old living." I feel emotional just writing that because it is such a simple yet profound concept. It's a silly enough movie with a talking cat as one of the main characters, but for me, it was so much more than that.
Ah, I feel emotional just reading that! Your comment makes me want to go back and watch Soul again.
Extra lovely!
Thanks, Miriam!
I love your newsletter in all its forms. I always love hearing what your sweet dumb brain has to say!
Aw, thanks, Val! You're the best!!