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I wonder why we have such unrealistic standards for ourselves...

Taylor Swift: "Hi! It's me! I'm the problem, it's me."

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Feb 20Liked by Rebecca Coates, Katie Hawkins-Gaar

As a kid I thought I would want to do something important when I grew up, be in the history books. But the older I get the more I want just a small, normal life. Everything else feels too tiring. Of course I have the tension of wanting to do and be more than my day to day but without the well paid background crew, I try to focus on cultivating as much ease, contentment, and grace as I can as I bounce back and forth between obligations and creative work.

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Amen to that! A small, normal life filled with ease, contentment, and grace sounds just lovely.

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Mar 1Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

Yeah, I don't have any huge aspirations. I try to find joy (at minimal expense to others). Do good in sometimes miniscule-seeming ways. Sometimes these things have bigger impact than we realize.

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Feb 20Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar, Rebecca Coates

this is one of the most relatable essays I've ever read. I am merely trying to get myself to eat my breakfast, while struggling to also get through several dozen pages of reading for a graduate level course. My mom likes to say that comparison is the thief of joy. I would add that comparison is the bringer of exhaustion, too. I am so, so tired. And yet I keep going. And yet I am still here. And yet, and yet, and yet.

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Feb 20·edited Feb 20Author

The bringer of exhaustion! I love that. Thanks for the kind words, Laurel. I hope you get some much-deserved rest soon.

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Feb 20Liked by Rebecca Coates, Katie Hawkins-Gaar

Such good thoughts. So interesting to wrestle with what we want to achieve in our lives, especially in a culture that says bigger is always better. Brings to mind this essay I read several years back that has stayed with me. https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/want-mediocre-life/

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Yes! Love that.

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Feb 20Liked by Rebecca Coates, Katie Hawkins-Gaar

From this exhausted, burned out, struggling mere mortal who's seeking only contentment, not greatness, in her tiny life, thank you for showing up as your imperfect self. It truly helps.

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Thank you!

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Feb 20Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar, Rebecca Coates

I was suckered in by Taylor Swift. But I’m so glad I chose to spend some time with your words. Your essays are brilliant, Katie. Firm, fair, and incredibly well written 💖 love, a new subscriber! 🥰

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Awww, yeah! Came for the Tay, stayed for the 'say!

... You're welcome, Gwen and other comments-section readers. 😎

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Hahaha. I love you and all your tries, Becca.

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Aww, thanks, Gwen! That is so kind.

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Feb 20Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar, Rebecca Coates

And you did very wel in my opinion❤️🙏

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Thanks, Irene! xo

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Feb 22Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

Thanks for trying, for showing up and for being so authentically you. It’s inspiring to read your words. It’s like a gentle nudge to my dumb brain that the work is showing up and whatever happens is … *waves hands at all of it *

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Ahh thank you! I needed to read this today.

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Feb 21Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar, Rebecca Coates

Tayler Swift takes all her pain, loneliness and relationship failures and turns them into song.

You are perfectly imperfect as am I. Spreading mulch while playing with your daughter IS what this life is about.

Sending you wishes of grace and ease. 💞

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Feb 21Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

Read your own quote sweet girl and embrace it.

"I will do the best that I can. I’ll complete what’s possible. I will try to be happy with the result. It won’t be perfect, but it will be what I can do — on my own, with the hours I have."

I'm going to guess that most of us here needed to read these words and remind ourselves that's all we can do. The best we can in that moment we have.

Tending your garden is good for the soul. And finally Billy is spot on! Wise man that Billy.

Give yourself the grace to just be you. xx

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Thank you, Lori. <3

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Feb 20Liked by Rebecca Coates, Katie Hawkins-Gaar

I normally don’t feel compelled to respond to essays or newsletters, but as a writer and as a woman, I related to this hard. Thank you for putting to words (more perfectly than you think) what it feels like to keep putting in the work against the perfection we’re bombarded with, day after day.

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Thanks, Maria! That means a lot!!

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Feb 23Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

This was exactly what my heart needed to read tonight and didn’t even know it. You put voice to feelings I didn’t even know I had and brought tears down my face for an unseen part of myself that feels so unacknowledged. The try-er who is so very tired of trying and feels so less than all the other people who it says aren’t just trying but are succeeding. It’s all false stories and comparisons of course… we all have our own successes and battles, even Taylor Swift, but thank you for the medicine of these words and for writing what’s real. 🙏🏼💜

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❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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Feb 22Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

Katie, Your writing was so relatable to me. I want to continue to learn naturally how to give myself some grace... chill out a little, take a walk, play a game, call a friend. Everything will get accomplished eventually just maybe on exactly on my time! Like Rebecca said; 'I wonder why we have such unrealistic standards for ourselves...'

I surely don't have them for my friends. But for me, not so much. With all the loss in my life one would think I'd be kinder, more thoughtful & generous to me. But! You got my attention with your openness and honesty and reminded me again. Thank you! Your writing is honest, so relatable, spot on and gracious. Hugs all around!

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You deserve all the grace! ❤️

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Feb 21Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

So relatable and so well said! Congratulations on getting an essay out there. My kiddo derailed my entire day and I have the next two days off for outings we’re taking so another week with no publication. Add to that the two days I’ve spent working on a single essay I probably won’t use and you have my writing life. So I commend you! 😁

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Thanks, Natalie! I know those weeks very well. Good luck getting the writing back on track! ❤️

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Feb 21Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

There are so many amazing points in this letter! Competing with our own writing (guilty of that), as well as holding ourselves to those who have TEAMS and not to mention overflowing funds to make their dreams happen. I also love the contemplation of redefining our own success and how that can look different for each of us. Thank you Katie!

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Thank you for sharing that!!

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Feb 21Liked by Katie Hawkins-Gaar

As I wrap up a day of writing in which contractors on my bathroom water-mitigation project (😖) sawed tiles for many hours on the other side of my door: I feel this SO hard. Thank you for writing it!!!

I did kind of feel like Taylor Swift today, though—on account of the multiple cats I had locked in the room with me to keep them away from the power tools. 🤷‍♀️ So there’s that!

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Oof I can imagine how grating that must have been to listen to all day. But I do love that you had so many furry writing companions with you!!

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